Bonfire Night with a toddler: a calm, quiet-evening plan

Bonfire Night and toddlers do not always mix. The flashes are pretty, but the bangs are enormous, and the little ears in your life are a lot smaller than yours. Here is how we keep it calm in our house.

Are fireworks too loud for toddlers?

They can be. The charity RNID says that persistent exposure to noise above 85 decibels over time can cause permanent hearing damage, and that some fireworks reach in excess of 155 decibels, so children's sensitive hearing is particularly at risk [1]. The NHS also lists damage from loud noise as a cause of hearing loss, and recommends wearing ear protection in loud places [2].

None of that means you must stay home with the curtains shut. It just means a little planning. If you are ever worried about your child's hearing after a loud noise, check with your health visitor or GP.

What ear protection should a toddler wear?

Choose ear defenders made for children, not adult ones that slide off. RNID promotes a children's model for ages from birth to 7 years, which one report says reduces noise by between 11.6 and 36.1 decibels [1]. Whatever you buy, check the fit and the age range on the box.

Our trial run went like this. I put the ear defenders on my youngest at breakfast. She wore them to eat toast, and then to hoover, and then to "help" me feed the cat. By teatime they were a fashion item. Practise at home well before the night, and they stop being strange.

Where is the best place to watch?

Further away than you think. The bang gets quieter the further back you stand. A public display, watched from the edge of the crowd, is usually calmer than a garden full of mystery rockets. Watching from a window at home works well too, and bedtime is only a few steps away.

Keep it short. Ten minutes of fireworks and then home for soup beats an hour of wobbly lip.

What does the law say about fireworks now?

At the time of writing, the GOV.UK page says [3]:

• You cannot buy "adult" fireworks if you are under 18.
• It is against the law to set off fireworks between 11pm and 7am, except on certain occasions. On Bonfire Night the cut-off is midnight.
• You must not set off or throw fireworks, including sparklers, in the street or other public places.
• You can be fined an unlimited amount and imprisoned for up to 6 months for selling or using fireworks illegally, and you could get an on-the-spot fine of £90.

Rules can change, so check the GOV.UK page before the night, and your local council for any local rules.

What if my toddler is scared of the bangs?

Plenty are, and that is fine. Our quiet-evening plan:

• Eat early. A warm tea before the first bang, not during.
• Close the curtains and put on a little music or a favourite song to soften the sound.
• Name it. "That was a loud one. It's far away. We're safe." Then carry on with the song.
• Keep a cosy corner with blankets, a torch and a book.
• Skip it entirely if the night is not for you. Nobody gives out medals.

The morning after has its own small challenges. Bedtime was late, and somebody (usually me) forgot to put the sparklers back in their box. So I keep the next day gentle:

• Keep breakfast simple. Toast, a banana and something warm to drink. Nobody needs a new recipe on a wobbly morning.
• Look at the nice pictures. If you took photos, look at the sparkly ones together and skip the bangs.
• Put the ear defenders away. They are for loud places, and the kitchen is not one, unless somebody is making toast with the radio on.
• Plan a quiet afternoon. A short rest, a book and a slow song count as a good day out.

My youngest asked whether the fireworks were still in the garden. We checked. They were not. She was satisfied, and then asked for the same toast again.

Sing along

Singing together turns an alarming evening into a snug one. Once the noise has gone, The Garden Says Good Night is a bedtime song in which the whole garden, from the hens to the owl, winds down at the same time. Sing it slowly, a little quieter each line. If the evening went well, try the Garden Dance Song the next morning. Its shake, jump and splash moves are a good wiggle for a wobbly morning.

References

1. Play Pennies (citing an RNID press statement). Remember Remember... To Protect Your Kids' Ears This 5th of November. playpennies.com
2. NHS. Hearing loss. nhs.uk
3. GOV.UK. Fireworks: the law. gov.uk

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